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Why I think The 4th of July Is Badass jon | Mid Day
07/07/2014 | Filed In:

Why I think The 4th of July Is Badass

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The 4th Of July is a baddass American holiday. Sure there's the patriotism, and the celebration of all things USA. But I found some 4th of July related facts that I think will prove that the 4th of July is the greatest holiday in the world.

FACT: In 2013, the U.S. spent 213-million dollars on imported fireworks. An overwhelming majority of those fireworks came from China. I think this is bad ass. What could be more American than wasting a bunch of money and blowing up shit from China? Sign me up!


I couldnt find any good fireworks pics in our stock photos..  So here's a kid wetting his pants.



FACT: In July 1776, there were an estimated two-point-five-million people living in the new independent nation. The U.S. population today is estimated at 318-point-four-million. This is listed in my source as a good thing. Sure, it sucks when a movie seels out, or people buy up all the Hostess Donettes before I can snag some. But a healthy population is a good thing. You don't hear about Iceland kicking any ass in things except volcanoes and well.. Ice. You know why? Because only 320,137 people live there. Your country has roughly the same amount of people as Bakersfield, CA. Trust me when I tell you that there is nothing good about Bakersfield.


I'm the mayor in this sumbitch!    


FACT: There are 59 geographical locations in the U.S. with the word "liberty" in their name. Eleven of them are in Pennsylvania. But the word "patriot" is used in only one location's name -- Patriot, Indiana. What does this have to do with the 4th of July? Nothing...     AMERICA!


I got nothin'.  


FACT: As of March 1st, 2014, the U.S. hog and pig population was 62-point-nine-million. The largest concentration of them are in Iowa, which has an estimated 19-point-eight-million. That makes Iowa the BACON CAPITOL, and now my third favorite state second only to Utah for being my home, and California for having Disneyland in it.




I like Disneyland..


So there you go! Hope you had a good holiday!



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