How I Ruined A Woman’s Christmas

Share:

Saturday, December 26th, 2009 @ 9:43AM

Have yourself an angry little Christmas.

This is the story of how I behaved like a jerk on Christmas Day.  This story will not be a surprise to some of you. 

Every Christmas Day my family and I spend some hours in Ogden at my mother’s house.  Nola doesn’t do the cooking anymore, my sister Penny does. It’s a feast of huge proportion.  The kitchen and dining tables practically groan under the weight of it.  This year we had smoked salmon, smoked oysters, stilton cheese with port wine, baked brie, fondue, roasted turkey breast, funeral potatoes, baked ham, meatballs, (by the way, I’ve decided that I’m against balled meat of any kind), stuffed peppers, rolls and butter, several varieties of cookies, plum pudding, and lots of alcohol. 

Every year, Penny invites someone (or several someones) that she has met at the restaurant she and James run in Ogden. (It’s called 2 Bit Street and it’s on 25th street in Ogden). This year was no exception.  Penny invited an older woman named either Mary or Linda.  I wasn’t clear on the name, but there she was, a woman I didn’t recognize, standing in the kitchen.  It’s really great of Penny to invite these people she meets a the restaurant.  They usually have no place to go for the holiday and Penny wants to make sure that theypre not left out….it’s a wonderful thing and certainly in keeping with the season.

The first thing Mary/Linda said to me, right when I walked in the door, is “This must be Bill.”  I said yes…hello and Mary/Linda launched right in; “I heard you were on the radio so I listened to the show today to get an idea of who you are.”  Now, I’m thinking, what a nice thing to do…how charming… when she launches into something like, “I just didn’t like it very much.  I had to turn it off. It’s not my thing.”

I could have let it drop.  I could have just said “that’s too bad” or “well, not everyone gets it” but it really hit my sore spot.  “Why would you tell me that?” I demanded.  “Would I tell you how much I hate your job?  What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a retired tax examiner.  A job you could make fun of, ” she said.

“But I wouldn’t do that.  There’s nothing wrong with being a tax examiner. If people don’t like Radio From Hell or X-96 why do they feel they have to tell me that.” 

“It’s just not my thing.  I’m too old for the music.”

“We don’t play music on our show.  So either you weren’t listening or you’re making up an excuse.  You should have said nothing.”

At this point my son and then my wife are trying to break it up…which finally Mrs. Bill does.  And then, there’s Mary/Linda, looking contrite and me realizing that I’ve just been a total jerk to a lonely woman who had no where to go on Christmas day.  Way to go Bill.

Though I’m not sure, sometimes, why you do; thanks for listening,
Bill

Comments (4) •