By Todd Nuke'em / X96
Hundreds of thousands of same-sex friendships in Utah are now threatened by a plan put forth by Utah’s Capitol Hill. After winning a stay of recognition in same-sex marriages in the 10th Circuit Court, Utah lawmakers took the fight one step further.
“We believe that friendship, like marriage, should be between a man and a woman,” said state senator Carl Davidson, R-Spanish Fork. “Despite a recent trend of activist judges making a mockery of tradition, we plan to prevent society from embracing same-sex friendships.”
Other lawmakers chimed in, saying that same-sex friendships are a slippery slope that could lead to people bonding with their pets. “I rue the day when a human being could refer to his dog as man’s best friend,” said Senator Wendy Conners, R-Provo. Statewide, conservative activists have lobbied for years to keep friendship between a male and a female. One lawmaker, who requested to not be identified stated, “Same-sex friendships are the moral decay of society. It is our desire to protect family values. It is simply perverted that two males would want to spend time together fishing or going to a sporting event.”
“What’s next?” he asked, “A festival and a parade that celebrates same-sex friendships? That’s just sick.” While recent scientific studies show that there is nothing inherently wrong with those participating in same-sex friendships, opponents feel that their way of life is threatened by this lifestyle choice. Davidson said, “I would never let my son, who is 12, develop friendships with other boys his age. They’d be riding their bikes together, playing video games together, possibly playing sports together on a recreation soccer team. The list of debauchery is endless. My son is only friends with girls, where he participates in wholesome bonding, like playing with dolls, experimenting with makeup, giggling over which member of One Direction is cutest, things like that.”
The Utah Chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union plans to fight this legislation, saying in a written statement: “Will you people stop electing these clowns?!”