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Sometimes I'm suprised by things that are, and are not legal in the U.S. jon | Mid Day
07/28/2014 | Filed In: x96 | slc | kxkr | jon smith | tannerite | kinder eggs | lawn darts |

Sometimes I'm suprised by things that are, and are not legal in the U.S.

A quick lesson in things that you can, and can't buy in America. For the most part, things you are, and are not allowed to buy in The U.S. are pretty self-explanatory, and even make good sense. I can't buy a kidney. Or a child. That much is pretty obvious. But what about the other things that don't make all that much sense? I have found a few items that I would LIKE to buy, but can't because somebody somewhere has deemed them too dangerous. So I made a list, and compared that to a list of things that are 1000x times MORE dangerous, yet I can buy no problem. Feel free to add your own ideas. CAN'T: LAWN DARTS! Or "Jarts"

Back in the 70's and 80's toys were made of an extremely durable material called "metal". This not only helped to make your toys last longer, but also made them a LOT more fun to throw at other kids. Somebody had the idea to take a sharpened hunk of metal, attached some fins to them, and sent those sumbitches airborne. What could go wrong?! It's not like kids are going to lob those bad boys like SCUDs into a neighbor’s yard or anything right? Well, actually yeah. That's exactly what we did. My cousins had a set, and for us they were more like "fence darts". 

 

That fence was a commie, man.  In the 80's we fought commies.  And ninjas.

According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, there were over 6000 serious injuries reported and one confirmed death, of which 81% were under the age of 15. So yeah, let's not make those any more. Good call. But here’s the weird part. Not only are they illegal to sell. And illegal to bring into the country, but they are illegal to POSSESS. You can't even HAVE them. I'm guessing the founding fathers did not have the time to include "poorly thought out yard games" in their list of priorities, otherwise we would have that in the constitution. Which brings me to CAN: An AR-15!

  First off, I swear the first person that tries to turn this blog into a gun debate is going to get a Lawn Dart to the junk. BUT, yes it IS a little odd that it's easier for me to get an AR-15 than a functioning set of Lawn Darts. But as the official X96 "Right Wing Gun Nut" I can attest to how easy it is to buy a firearm. I bought my AR online on a website called gunbroker.com, which is like eBay for guns.  That's not a joke.  There is an eBay for guns, and it's awesome!

 

That fence is in SERIOUS trouble.

And while it was perfectly safe, and I had to have it shipped to a local gun store so that all the background info could be done, it's still true that I bought a very sophisticated weapon on the internet from what most people by now are picturing as a cartoon villain. CAN'T: KINDER EGGS.

   Kinder Eggs are neat. They're small chocolate eggs containing smaller plastic choking hazards masquerading as toys. I don't know of any child that is able to swallow an entire egg whole, but as a new dad I can promise you that kids will figure out how to put an entire cat in their mouth in the 5 seconds it takes you to realize that your cat is missing. The law keeping us safe from Kinder Egg terrorism actually pre-dates their invention by about 30 years, dating back to a time that according to HBO's Boardwalk Empire was full of sex and death. I don't have the law in front of me, but it sums up as "hey don't put stuff in our food".  

 

     

Turns out most things involving "choking" were discouraged..  Get it?     

I actually had no idea what these were until a saw a news story a couple of years ago about a guy threatened with $10,000 in fines and jail time for bringing a handful of Kinder Eggs into the US from Canada. So while it's perfectly legal for a guy who played "fence darts" as a kid to buy an AR-15 on the internet, it's OUT OF THE QUESTION to bring a Kinder Egg into the country. Which is funny because one of my favorite things to do WITH my AR-15 is shoot something called "Tannerite" CAN: Tannerite!

Tannerite is actually a brand name for an "exploding target". Basically fertilizer and aluminum that when mixed with a shot from a rifle makes a huge mess out of anything that happens to be near by. Never heard of it? Check out what it can do to a car. So yeah obviously there are some restrictions that come with this one, but for the most part, and especially here in Utah, it's legal to buy year round, and legal to make ka-blooey noises. You can literally go into a sporting goods store and buy a jar of this stuff for about what it would cost to eat some Taco Bell. You might even get the same results.

 

You’ll want to make some delicious brownies.

CAN’T: Advil Cold and Sinus.

Alright, so a bit of a stretch. Of course it’s not actually a CAN’T. But thanks to a little thing called meth it’s a serious pain in the ass to get. I have to give the cashier my drivers license, which means I have to take it out of the little window thing in my wallet. I hate doing that… You know what I can buy WITHOUT a drivers license?

 

 

                   

   A CHAINSAW.                

  

  Yeah man. The one tool that is almost as synonymous with murder and dismemberment as it is for its intended use. Think about it. Have you ever been chased out of a local haunted house with a box of Sudafed? No. BUT I can go into a Home Depot right now and pay 50 bucks cash for a chainsaw without so much as a “hello” before I’m out dismembering a clown that I have in the trunk of my car. I’m also pretty sure it’s against the law to have a clown in the trunk of your car. I’ll have to check into that. 

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Budweiser Made In America Corey O'Brien |
07/23/2014 | Filed In: Budweiser | X96 | Weezer | Metric | Rise Against | Capital Cities | Imagine Dragons | Contest

Budweiser Made In America
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Does Jack White Like Baseball...That Face! Corey O'Brien |
07/23/2014 | Filed In: Jack White | Baseball | Frown

Does Jack White Like Baseball...That Face!

How much does Jack White love baseball? Well, he either hates how the Cubs are playing or hates the red hots or hates baseball or hates his seat or hates having his picture taken without a suit on. It's Jack White and grumpy Jack is good Jack. F*@k Grumpy Cat!

Take, Take, Take (a little White Stripes humor) at these pictures from Music Times and you decide.

And here's some vid...real good vid if you know what I mean.

Your browser does not support iframes.

Since you are here you might as well rock out to some old school White Stripes.

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Batman is 75 Today and Salt Lake Comic Con Has an Announcement Corey O'Brien |
07/23/2014 | Filed In: Batman | Salt Lake Comic Con

Batman is 75 Today and Salt Lake Comic Con Has an Announcement

The Caped Crusader is 75 this year and not only can you pick up 750 different Batman titles for only 99 cents (more on that here), but the good-natured folks at the Salt Lake Comic Con have an announcement for the main event coming up September 4th through the 6th at the Salt Palace Convention Center.  Not only can you revel in their already amazing line-up of guests (click here to see for yourself), but added to the list is Kevin Conroy who voiced Batman on the ever-favorite "Batman: The Animated Series."

Happy Bat Day everyone!

Plenty more the 2014 Salt Lake Comic Con here!

And enjoy this 75th Anniversary short from DC Comics.

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Todd Nuke 'Em Reviews Mr. Mercedes todd | Program Director
07/23/2014 | Filed In: Stephen King | Mr. Mercedes | suspense | thriller

Todd Nuke 'Em Reviews Mr. Mercedes

Mr. Mercedes by Stephen King Reviewed by Todd Nuke ‘Em

The master of horror is back with a new novel that surprisingly lacks horror. Not that this is a bad thing. King most recently did this with Joyland, where there was a ghost story lurking in the background of what was a great little murder mystery. In Mr. Mercedes, it is indeed another crime thriller, except you know right from the first few pages who committed the crime. This is a story about a retired detective and two unlikely associates who track down the bad guy before he can commit another mass murder. His first mass murder takes place in the first chapter, when the bad guy drives through a crowd of people waiting in line for a job fair.

I like it when Stephen King steps away from the horror genre and tries something different. There are no supernatural monsters in this story, but there is a real one, and King takes you right into the killer’s warped mind. I loved the story of pursuit as the retired detective broke a lot of the rules of protocol when tracking down this killer. There are some excellent psychological exchanges between the killer and the detective that will keep you wondering if the good guys will actually win. This book is also not incredibly long—sometimes King can crank out eight hundred pages or more, but this one is rather brief. The action keeps it moving along until the exciting conclusion.

I give it a B+.

Stephen King recently announced that there are two more books coming that involve these characters, so be ready for a sequel. 

In case you missed it, here is a list of my Top 5 Summer Books from the beginning of summer.

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