Blame Chuck Klosterman for this trend: unadulterated Coldplay hate. When talking about the band's song "Yellow" from his book, "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" he is annoyed by the overly-simplistic lyrics from Chris Martin by boiling down Martin's theme to "brilliantly informing us that stars in the sky are, in fact, yellow." White people culture has only been easier to make fun of since then. Sites like Stuff White People Like would be the soft slug version and you can go on from there.
Coldplay is releasing their new album, "Ghost Stories" today and so we are once again reminded that hate is alive and well on the internet. Mr. Agreeable's review on The Quietus of the new album on the site is something. It must have been keyboard agony censoring all the strong and lovely words wielded to express a very defined and direct point of view about the new album.
Take it for what you will. If you hate Coldplay or and love crass rants this review is still a bit of a drag after the first few paragraphs. I did have some favorite lines though:
"'Another’s Arms' begins with an androgynous, anaemic yelp that is quite possibly the whitest moment in all of popular f***ing culture."
"Finally, the f***ing title track itself. Chris wonders if he himself is “just a ghost”. Tell you what, Martin, you woeful f***ing waste of a snail’s time, here’s one way of f***ing finding out - why not run into that f***ing brick wall head first? Twenty times, just to be f***ing sure?"
"No, as f***ing ever, Chris Martin’s here to suck all the f***ing joy out of the room like a giant f***ing Happiness Hoover!"
Perhaps some levity might have made this review more digestible. You may still get a chuckle out of it. Read the fully hateful review here.
I am going to put my headphones on and make up my own mind.