Blame Chuck Klosterman for this trend: unadulterated Coldplay hate. When talking about the band's song "Yellow" from his book, "Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" he is annoyed by the overly-simplistic lyrics from Chris Martin by boiling down Martin's theme to "brilliantly informing us that stars in the sky are, in fact, yellow." White people culture has only been easier to make fun of since then. Sites like Stuff White People Like would be the soft slug version and you can go on from there.
Coldplay is releasing their new album, "Ghost Stories" today and so we are once again reminded that hate is alive and well on the internet. Mr. Agreeable's review on The Quietus of the new album on the site is something. It must have been keyboard agony censoring all the strong and lovely words wielded to express a very defined and direct point of view about the new album.
Take it for what you will. If you hate Coldplay or and love crass rants this review is still a bit of a drag after the first few paragraphs. I did have some favorite lines though:
"'Another’s Arms' begins with an androgynous, anaemic yelp that is quite possibly the whitest moment in all of popular f***ing culture."
"Finally, the f***ing title track itself. Chris wonders if he himself is “just a ghost”. Tell you what, Martin, you woeful f***ing waste of a snail’s time, here’s one way of f***ing finding out - why not run into that f***ing brick wall head first? Twenty times, just to be f***ing sure?"
"No, as f***ing ever, Chris Martin’s here to suck all the f***ing joy out of the room like a giant f***ing Happiness Hoover!"
Perhaps some levity might have made this review more digestible. You may still get a chuckle out of it. Read the fully hateful review here.
I am going to put my headphones on and make up my own mind.
UPDATE: Macklemore offers up an official statement.
The interwebs were in a tizzy today because Macklemore might have been portraying the stereotype of a Jewish person at a secret show in Seattle. He was wearing a hat, beard, a dark suit and a fake nose (you can see a gallery here from The Seattle Times). Bloggers started fanning the flames and wondering why more people weren't offended by the outfit. Seth Rogan even tweeted, "First you trick people into thinking you’re a rapper, now you trick them into thinking you’re Jewish?” Wow, pretty harsh.
I just don't buy it. Remember the song, "Thriftshop"? The outfit Mack was wearing pretty much epitomized that track. I just don't believe Macklomore is that guy. I've got to think this was a bad coincidence. Aren't racists usually proud of their ignorance? We've gotta think from the evidence, his work, Macklemore is an inclusive guy.
To argue the other side, it could have been a joke in bad taste. Artists take risks and those risks backfire at times. We have all been guilty of bad judgement from time to time - forgotten ourselves. It's embarrassing and we get a quick life lesson out of it, though some lessons are worse than others.
Am I burnt out on "Same Love"? YES! Am I burnt out on everything Macklemore? Yes, it means he won. Am I anticipating his next album? I'd be stupid not to. He is an entertaining guy and makes interesting and fun things to listen to and watch. He is great live and you can tell he kills himself on stage for his fans. Mackleless? Nope. I am sticking with Macklemore.
Oh, and he did post this, which pretty much cleared things up for me:
Here's this for old time's sake.
Zack Braff hit his Kickstater goal, so we're all getting this for Summer.
1. The guy, Donald Faison, from "Scrubs" makes an appearance. I hate "Scrubs" so this trailer is already giving me a bad taste in my movie-loving brain. It seems like every time I turn on Comedy Central they are showing it like NPR plays "A Prarie Home Companion" on the weekends. Couldn't they show something that is actually funny? For the record I think Donald Faison is funny. I just really hated "Scrubs" and I couldn't explain to you why.
2. Expect slow motion shots of people doing things that "surprise them" and "will affect them for the rest of their lives." You will laugh, cry and feel emboldened until you leave the theater and hit the closest fast food joint, being slammed back to your life.
3. There is a new Shin's song in the trailer. It doesn't have a title, but that's no matter because you don't really remember any of The Shins' song titles anyway. You just know why all go "ooooOOOOoooouhhh Oooo ooo ooooo uhhhh" and that's just how you and I like them.
4. This is not "Garden State 2", but let's face facts. It should be. Every critic will hold it up to that candle. The math is too easy.
5. With all that said, I will still go see it. I will get warm and fuzzies and probably want a wife, family life and the strength to embrace middle-age problems when they arrive at my doorstep. Then I will wise up. Also, Mr. Braff has such dreamy blue eyes.
Here is the trailer. The Shins track really kicks in about a minute in. I am pretty sure you would know it right away with me pointing it out.
"Guardians of the Galaxy" shared a new trailer today. I love everything about this movie, especially the racoon with a gun. What I hate about this trailer and what will annoy me about the movie is the music. "Spirit in the Sky" again, really? How much money is Norman Greenbaum sucking out of the collective pool of royalty money amongst music budgets in Hollywood. Who is Mr. Greenbaum's attorney that negotiated the sale of his soul to Satan for such blanket coverage? I would like to hire that lawyer.
Here is an actual list of movies and TV shows this song has been in. Put a bag over this song and don't take it off until its spirit is actually in the sky.
If that particular music selection didn't have you sticking tree branches in your ears it's followed by Blue Swede's "Hooked on a Feeling." Did the music supervisor for this film graduate from the University of Unoriginality with a major in boring and a minor in trite? "Hooked on a Feeling" has haunted me since its use in "Ally McBeal." Remember that stupid dancing baby?
If these two songs were house guests you would have asked them to leave years ago or resorted to blunt force trauma and a backyard burial just to get away from their grating overuse in mass culture.
We are decades past the 70s, 80s or whatever decade these songs were conceived, back when people made out to them. All they do now is make us wretch and rightly so.
Now that I've got that off my chest I will say something positive...I really can't wait to see this film. It looks original, close to the comic and it's Mavel so you know it will be slick. Enjoy the trailer below.
You can add one more must see show to your Summer list. The Offspring are coming along with Pennywise and Stiff Little Fingers to Saltair on August 26th. Killer lineup, bro!
Rumor also has it that The Offspring may be working on new music. Noodles told Tut.by that the band planned to head in the studio after they wrapped up their last tour. I guess we will have to wait and see on that front.
Of course last month was the 20th anniversary of "Smash" the album that made The Offspring pretty damn big. Pop that one in your playlist and remember what a badass this album made you feel like until you see them in August.
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