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Weezer Cover Band Fail todd | Program Director
06/20/2014 | Filed In: fail | weezer | make it a win

Weezer Cover Band Fail

These poor kids have a major onstage disaster about 30 seconds into their cover of a Weezer song. I hope they don't stop making music, though. I want them to become rock stars and to be able to look back at this video in ten years and laugh...like you probably will if you watch it.

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Utah Liquor Authority Now Thinking About Requiring Permits To Drink At Home Corey O'Brien |
05/30/2014 | Filed In: Satire | Beer | Joke. Wine | Liquor | Utah | Laws | Snowbird | Oktoberfest

Utah Liquor Authority Now Thinking About Requiring Permits To Drink At Home

In a bold move, after stating Snowbird's Oktoberfest celebration may not receive a permit to serve beer or wine, USLA or Utah State Liquor Authority representative, Mr. Behr Mehbrow, said the state may begin to looking into issuing permits for people who plan on having more than one person as a guest in their private residence while serving alcohol. Mr. Mehbrow said, "We aren't quite certain what state law defines as an event." He went on,"Utah has a fine tradition of confusion with these kinda [sic] things and it has served us, as a state, quite well in the past when you can't get served. I see no reason to not stay the course with our current proposals. If you are hosting friends or family at your residence for so much as a 'Mr. Belvedere' binge watching session on Netflix, in the state's eyes, you are hosting an event and should be held to the letter of the law."

Opponents of the measure argue privacy rights though their arguments weren't very comprehensible at the time this publication's inquiry, "Sup, Bro? Why do you have a notepad and pen out? Bro? Let's get blahhhhhh..." 

More sober opponents are worried that religious events such as Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Super Bowl Sunday, birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, Bat Mitvazhs, Cinco De Mayo, Boxing Day, National Secretary Appreciation Day, your dad's birthday, Mother's Day and Thursday through Saturday nights may be affected. The Americans Served Citizen's Union spokesperson, Justin Aboutfiveoclocksomewhere, responded, "It is a serious problem when ordinary citizens can't celebrate in their own homes without the government stepping in. What's next? Photoshopping slacks and sleeves onto the Jazz Bear?"

Several national and local alcohol distributors, all asking to remain anonymous, provided the exact same statement: "That's some ol' bulls*@t!"

No doubt homeowners, renters, squatters and others who like to have wine tastings, whiskey pairings and a few brews with the homies while enjoying HBO on a Sunday night will take issue with the state's new alcohol policies. Many have even thought about turning their homes into private clubs and a surge in non-profit status applications have quadrupled in counties from Cache to Garfield.  Also, a petition is already making the rounds online, which can be found here.

Utah residents may have to take this issue up at the polls next election season.

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Porn Stars Are Heavier Than They Look or The Moron and The Jerk Corey O'Brien |
04/25/2014 | Filed In: Porn Star | Throwing People | People Toss | Jerk | Millionaire | Dan Bilzerian

Porn Stars Are Heavier Than They Look or The Moron and The Jerk

Lots of money or no money, a jerk is a jerk.  Dan Bilzerian is a Wall Street millionaire who likes to play poker, fun, posting Instagram photos with naked women and the like, which is all innocent enough, I suppose.  A guy's got a right to have a good time and make cash. However, in this scenario it is really hard to know is the bigger dunce: the guy throwing the woman from the roof or the porn star who let him.

Note: it's always good to underestimate your limitations mostly because you won'do things like throwing women off roofs and you might surprise yourself once in a while with a humble attitude.

 

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Instagram's Biggest Playboy Dan Bilzerian Throws Porn Star Off Roof [VIDEO] - Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe READ MORE | COMMENTS

Billy Corgan Will Put On 8 Hour Performance jon | Mid Day
02/19/2014 | Filed In: kxrk | x96 | billy corgan | jon smith | smashing pumpkins | bad ass ms paint drawings.

Billy Corgan Will Put On 8 Hour Performance

As usual, I'm not allowed to use pictures. So I made my own!

Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan is looking to demonstrate his endurance later this month. I'm not sure if anyone has every questioned the endurance of Billy..  I mean, is that really something that comes up in conversation?  Anyways.  The bald frontman has announced plans to play for at least eight hours straight at his Chicago teahouse, Madame Zuzu's.  That sounds like fun.

Corgan says the "on the fly" performance will be "centered around an ambient/musical interpretation" of Herman Hesse's spiritual coming-of-age tale "Siddhartha." The epic gig is set to take place February 28th, and Corgan says information about the free admission will be announced soon. 

Everyone get through that?  Good because I damn near fell asleep writing it.  I had fun making the picture though.

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A MESSAGE FROM FLEA! jon | Mid Day
02/04/2014 | Filed In: rhcp | red hot chili peppers | flea | awesome ms paint drawings | jon smith | kxrk | x96 | super bowl half time | apologies | i should have been a professional drawer |

A MESSAGE FROM FLEA!

Considering everything we saw during this years Super Bowl, (I'm allowed to say that right?) questioning the performance of Bruno mars and The Red hot Chili Peppers should be damn near the BOTTOM of the list.  I mean sure, the game sucked, and the commercials have gotton worse every year.  But talking about The Chili's NOT bringing their A game?  COME ON!

have you not SEEN the crappy performances the last few years?  MADONNA last year?  Really?

There are VERY few bands that can still command an audience after THIRTY years like RHCP can.  The fact that they kept their pants on during the set is worthy of a golf clap all by itself.  But, here we are talking about the fact that their instruments were not plugged in.  Lucky for us, Uncle FLEA has issued a statement about the whole thing to ease our troubled hearts.

I've taken the liberty of using my mad skillz with MS Paint to illustrate the event, as i don't want to get sued for using a pic.

So here's what Flea had to say about it.

Enjoy!

:

The Red Hot Chili Peppers stance on any sort of miming has been that we will absolutely not do it. The last time we did it (or tried to) was in the late 80's, we were thrown off of 'The Top Of the Pops' television program in the U.K. during rehearsals because we refused to mime properly, I played bass with my shoe, John played guitar atop Anthony's shoulders, and we basically had a wrestling match onstage, making a mockery of the idea that it was a real live performance. We mimed on one or two weird MTV shows before that and it always was a drag. We take our music playing seriously, it is a sacred thing for us, and anyone who has ever seen us in concert (like the night before the Super Bowl at the Barclays Center), knows that we play from our heart, we improvise spontaneously, take musical risks, and sweat blood at every show. We have been on the road for 31 years doing it. So, when this Super Bowl gig concept came up, there was a lot of confusion amongst us as whether or not we should do it, but we eventually decided, it was a surreal-like, once in a life time crazy thing to do and we would just have fun and do it. We had given this a lot of thought before agreeing to do it, and besides many a long conversation amongst ourselves, I spoke with many musician friends for whom I have the utmost respect, and they all said they would do it if asked, that it was a wild trippy thing to do, what the hell. Plus, we the RHCP all love football too and that played a big part in our decision. We decided that, with Anthony singing live, that we could still bring the spirit and freedom of what we do into the performance, and of course we played every note in the recording specially for the gig. I met and spoke with Bruno, who was a beautiful dude, a real talented musician, and we worked out something that seemed like it would be fun. We recorded a track for the day, just banged one out from our hearts that was very like in spirit to the versions we have been playing live the last few years with our beloved Josh on guitar. For the actual performance, Josh, Chad, and I were playing along with the pre recorded track so there was no need to plug in our guitars, so we did not. Could we have plugged them in and avoided bumming people out who have expressed disappointment that the instrumental track was pre recorded? Of course easily we could have and this would be a non-issue. We thought it better to not pretend. It seemed like the realest thing to do in the circumstance. It was like making a music video in front of a gazillion people, except with live vocals, and only one chance to rock it. Our only thought was to bring the spirit of who we are to the people. I am grateful to the NFL for having us. And I am grateful to Bruno, who is a super talented young man for inviting us to be a part of his gig. I would do it all the same way again. We, as a band, aspire to grow as musicians and songwriters, and to continue to play our guts out live onstage for anyone who wants to get their brains blown out. Sincerely, Flea

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