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Tuesday: Genealogy buffs (you know who you are) should be relieved to know that WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE has been uncanceled and picked up by the Honey Boo Boo Channel, beginning tonight (TLC). There’s a new reality show about people who work and play in Martha’s Vineyard called THE VINEYARD—it took a focus group six months to come up with that title (ABC Family). Lisa Kudrow’s hilarious WEB THERAPY returns for Season 3 tonight, so watch it harder (Showtime).
Wednesday: In the new series JOE ROGAN QUESTIONS EVERYTHING, puffy comic Joe Rogan does indeed question everything—yep, same focus group (Syfy). Another new show debuting tonight, SPELLMAGEDDON, finally combines the spelling bee with Wipeout, just as Jeebus intended (ABC Family). Also returning tonight is TOP CHEF MASTERS—that’s the one without Padma Lakshmi, sorry (Bravo).
Thursday: HELL’S KITCHEN is back tonight, because we’ve gone, like, weeks without a Gordon Ramsay show on the air (Fox). The new reality-doc series MY LIFE AS A GANGSTER GIRL could be a gateway for My Life as a Juggalette, so watch it hard (A&E). The best news of the summer, of course, is that both CHILDRENS HOSPITAL and NTSF:SD:SUV are back tonight, and the latter is adding Doctor Who’s Karen Gillan to the cast, so go ahead and geek out on that for a while (Adult Swim).
Friday: In the new series TREEHOUSE MASTERS, says here, “Pete Nelson and his team of carpenters, riggers and builders gather together at his Treehouse Point to build elements of a back-to-basic child’s treehouse for a very close-knit family with special needs children.” So … where the animals? (Animal Planet)
Saturday: Oh, here they are: AMERICA’S CUTEST DOG premieres for Season 3 tonight! (Animal Planet). If you missed AXE COP and HIGH SCHOOL USA! last Sunday, they debut in their regular timeslot late tonight, slackers (Fox).
Sunday: Remember UNFORGETTABLE? Ha! The lady cop who’s a very good rememberer returns tonight (CBS). TOTAL DIVAS, a reality series about female WWE rasslers premieres tonight, because of course it does (E!). And, would you believe, the season finale of CELEBRITY WIFE SWAP, featuring ‘90s one-hit wonders Gerardo and Sisqo trading spouses? It’s happening, deal with it (ABC).
During her days as a pro wrestler, Gina Barberi’s (ring name: Gyna Barbwire) signature takedown move was the somewhat effective “Atomic Boob Vice.”
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